I ended the call to my office, frowning at my cell phone screen. It was comfortably quiet in the study. The aroma of old books and furniture polish tickled my nose. Peaceful and homey. The supple leather desk chair wrapped me in a warm cocoon as I sank back with a heavy sigh, not sure of what to make of my conversation with Todd and Margie.
I was still staring at my phone, lost in thought, when Sam walked in at the thirty-minute mark, as promised — actually threatened, but with a sexy smile. He needn’t have bothered — the call lasted less than ten minutes, and it was mostly Margie grilling me about the weekend. Todd pretended relief in my absence. Said something about being able to get more work done without having to babysit the boss man. It made me smile. His teasing weirdly reassured me I wasn’t totally useless.
Margie promised to follow up with Mr. Napier regarding the operating budget for Calloway Island and begin the discovery process for the orphanage he had told us about. Mostly I wanted to make sure Yari and Aman’s friend, the sick little girl at the orphanage, received the medicine she needed as soon as possible. I felt bad throwing it all on Margie, but she insisted she was excited to do it. I had no doubt she could handle it.
“How’d they take the news?” asked Sam, sprawling himself on the leather sofa. His t-shirt rode up an inch or two, exposing hairy abs and a treasure trail to tease me as it disappeared down the front of his ragged jeans — the pair with the holes he knew turned me on.
“I’m sorry, what?” I replied, clearly distracted.
“Todd? Margie? The office?”
“Oh…yeah…um…fine, I guess.”
“Fine? No third degree?”
I shook my head, instantly regretting the move. The pain came and went on a whim. One minute I was fine, the next my head was pounding. At least it wasn’t constant. Overall — physically — I felt much better than the day before. Mentally and emotionally, things were still a tangled mess.
“Todd said everything is quiet,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “Hotel merger is almost complete. New accounting system is past the planning stages, and the consultants we hired are working with Danny and his team.”
“So no fires to put out?” asked Sam, pushing his shirt up even more to scratch his stomach.
My face felt hot. “What?” I pushed my hard dick to a more comfortable position, hoping Sam didn’t see my hand palming my crotch.
“The office? They seriously didn’t try to get you to come in?”
I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or just didn’t realize how much his casual sexiness affected me. I tried to rip my eyes away from the button on his jeans, just sitting there at the top of the zipper, and failed. I felt dizzy with the desire to pop that button with my mouth, pull the zipper down with my teeth, and release what waited just behind…
“Jack…are you okay? You look a little lost. You sure you’re not upset about work? I know you’re big on being responsible and all.”
I sighed, the moment broken. “Yeah…um…I’m okay…I think. Just a little dizzy, I guess. Todd and Margie have everything under control. She promised she would call me if anything came up.”
He smiled. His deep azure blue eyes beamed with laser-like intensity as he slowly rose off the couch. His t-shirt dropped, covering his abs and most of the zipper I had been salivating over a minute ago.
He caught me staring. “Eyes up here, mister,” he said, raising a hand to point to his eyes. I lifted my gaze to his sexy smirk.
“See something you like?” he asked, grinning with the casual confidence I found irresistible. I smirked right back at him with a slight nod. “We’ll get to that. All part of my plan to get you good and relaxed.”
He motioned for me to stand, and I obeyed. I didn’t tell him, but the very idea of submitting myself to his care for a whole week relieved an internal pressure threatening to capsize me. I’d do whatever he wanted, however he wanted to do it, and I knew in that submission I would find a portion of the peace I desperately needed.
I took a step toward him and the room swayed sideways. I put a hand to the edge of the desk for balance, and Sam immediately pulled me into a supportive hug.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered.
I nodded very carefully. My ears felt funny, like they were full of water. I adjusted my weight to the other leg and felt a sharp twinge from my twisted ankle. Crap. I must have winced or something, because Sam’s expression switched from playful to concerned. Double crap.
“I’m fine,” I said, with a reassuring palm on his chest. “Just a spark from my ankle. It’s already faded.” I leaned forward and brushed his neck with my lips. “But you should keep holding onto me, just in case,” I whispered. My tongue might have slipped out and grazed along his jaw line.
He hissed, followed by a low belly rumble. That’s better. Keep it light and playful.
“You keep that up and I won’t be responsible for what happens to you.”
“Promise?”
“Guaranteed you won’t be feeling your ankle for a while.”
“Sounds wonderful,” I said, licking the other side of his neck. One of my hands might have accidentally grazed his right nipple. More hissing as he took half a step back, lifting my chin and gazing into my eyes.
“You’re killing me here. I’m trying to take care of you.”
I smiled and dropped my eyes, suggestively. “You’re doing a great job, big guy. Didn’t someone once call an orgasm the ‘little death’?”
He chuckled. “Do I need to put you over my knee to get you to behave yourself?”
I nearly fainted from the sudden sparks of electricity racing up my spine and exploding somewhere in the back of my brain. Oh my god. My heart started racing and I felt light headed.
“Jack? What happened? What’d I say?”
“You can’t say stuff like that to me,” I said, focusing on breathing in and out. What little blood had been in my head had raced to parts further south. I was really dizzy now.
“What stuff?”
I looked at him, hoping he didn’t make me say it. His eyes flattened, still questioning.
“Over your knee,” I whispered, heat flooding my neck and face.
His eyes registered comprehension and his lips slowly morphed into a broad smile. “I see. Hmmm…have to file that away for future reference.”
Forget the concussion. I expected to self-combust any second. Sam stroked my cheek, then lifted my chin and kissed me. My embarrassment disappeared in a cloud of new stimuli as I pulled him closer. We deepened the kiss, and I forgot about everything except the heat of him, the smell of him, the feel of his body against mine. My rock. My fortress. My everything.
At some point he pulled back, softly panting. “Fuck, the way you kiss me,” he said. “I love you so much, little man.”
I looked down and palmed his chest. “I know. I’m counting on your love to get me through this. I can’t do it without you, Sam. I…”
“Shhh. It’s okay. You don’t have to. I’m right here. We’ll get through this together, I promise.”
I looked up into eyes as blue as the Caribbean. My hands were shaking. I needed something from him, and I decided to risk it.
“Would you think about doing something for me?” I asked.
“Sure, what is it?”
I took a deep breath. “I need you to take more control.”
He paused, then turned and led us to the couch. He sat down, stretching one long leg across the back and pointing to the cushion between his legs.
“Sit,” he said. I did. “Talk to me. I’m listening.”
With my back to his chest, he leaned against the sofa, pulling me into his arms, giving me a safe harbor to speak.
Gathering my wits, I said, “I don’t want to be in charge of our lives together.”
He paused for half a beat, then said, “Okay, tell me what you mean.”
“I mean, I feel like you wait for me to decide where we go and what we do and how we live. I know this was all very sudden for you, hopping on a plane with me and showing up here.” I grabbed his arms and pulled them tighter around me.
“I’m here because there’s no other place I’d rather be.”
“I know. Ugh…I’m saying this wrong,” I said, shifting uncomfortably. He squeezed me tighter.
“It’s okay, keep talking. We’ll get there.”
I sighed. “I love you, Sam. We’re committed to each other. We talk about forever, and I want that with you. I really, really do. It’s all I want. Nothing else matters. But it can’t all be on my terms. That’s not fair to you. Please don’t get mad, but I feel like you think because I have all this money you’re obligated to take a back seat.”
I twisted in his arms and slid off the couch to my knees. I grabbed his hands between mine and looked up, eyes pleading.
“I don’t want you in the back seat. I need you driving, Sam. I need you to lead us and not wait for me and what I want or how I want it or…I need to know that our life together is what you want and need it to be. I’ll change anything. I’ll do anything you need me to. I don’t want to be in charge. I don’t…no…I can’t make all the decisions for us. I know I have to do it for my business, and I will. I’ll do it for the foundation. But, please, not with you.”
I rested my cheek on his thigh and focused on breathing, avoiding his eyes. He stroked my hair and we were quiet for a few moments.
“When I met you for the first time,” said Sam. “I knew I wanted to know more. It was a look in your eyes, I think. And as I got to know you, I saw your strengths, but I also saw your fear. You convinced me you needed me, because I could keep you safe. I know I’ve not always succeeded, but I’ve tried. And I’ll keep trying. I want to do that for you. It makes me feel…I don’t know…necessary? Important? Valuable?”
“You are, Sam…you have to know that.”
He stroked my head again and smiled. “I do. But you’re right, I guess. I’m cautious about stepping into the lead more because I worry if I do, you won’t feel safe with me. Your family…Jack, the things they did to you…I can’t be that guy. I can’t put myself in a position where I’m forcing you to do something you don’t want to do. Won’t that undermine any sense of safety with me?”
I sat up on my haunches, shaking my head. “No, it won’t. Just the opposite. You taking charge of our everyday life together…Sam, I would feel cared for, watched over, safer even. I know as sure as I’m breathing you would never lead me to a place where I’ll get hurt. Let’s face it, you understand me better than I do, myself. It would be a relief to just let go and lean on you for stuff.”
His eyes welled with tears. Oh, crap. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“You trust me that much?” he whispered.
I kissed his hands, still grasped in mine. “Yes. I’ve trusted you from the first day we met. You know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because you cared about me. It was instinctive. You just did it. You protected me from myself that very first day.”
“How?”
“I told you I had a headache, and you told me I needed to drink more water and use more sunscreen.”
“So?”
“So…it’s a simple thing, I know, but it mattered. Sam…before you, nobody ever saw me as important enough to care about, not really.”
He started to protest but I held up a hand to stop him. “I know that doesn’t make sense to you. I’ve met your family, and I’ve seen the love you all have for each other, but I never had that,” I said with a shrug.
“I guess my mom did, or does, in her own way, but even if she had said the same thing you did, there would have been a put-down to go with it. Always a dig, always a slur. Even when you’ve gotten mad at me, you never put me down. Not once. So yeah, I trust you.”
“But that’s different than what you’re saying now, isn’t it? I mean, it was water and sunscreen, big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Sam. It’s very big to me. You don’t see it. I get it. You do it for everyone in your family. It’s instinctive.”
“Do what? I don’t understand.”
I grinned. “See, that’s what I love about you. You don’t even comprehend how you make your life all about the people who matter to you the most. You do it for Tommy. And JP and Stubbs. You did it for Kat. Your mom. Even when you were fighting with your Dad, you still never wanted to hurt him, even when he hurt you. You do it with Maggie and Charles, too. Look how you pushed him over the medicine thing. You care, Sam. It’s who you are. You say I’m the one that cares so much, but it’s you who sets the real example. I’m learning it from you.”
He smiled a little. “Okay, but how does all that translate into you wanting me to control our lives together? I wouldn’t want to be controlled, and I don’t want to control anyone else.”
“Yeah, that’s probably the wrong word. I don’t want to be controlled, either, but I definitely don’t want to be in charge when it comes to you and me and how we live and do life. Look, it’s probably selfish of me, and maybe it’s because of my little breakdown, but I’m tired of making decisions and worrying if they’re the right ones. When it’s just us, I would really appreciate it if you stepped up and made them. I think it could really help me.”
He looked down into my eyes as I knelt before him, searching deep for something. It was comfortable now to just let him in. After a moment he nodded once to himself.
“So…what does that look like? Give me an example,” he said.
I sat back on my haunches again, giving my knees a break, still holding tightly to one of his hands. “Okay, take this Operation Rest and Relaxation thing of yours. That’s a perfect example. You told me I had thirty minutes to speak to the office, no more. That’s what I’m talking about. I want more of that. I don’t know, call it guidance, or advice, or direction. I felt safe and loved when you said it, like I could do what I needed to do, but I wouldn’t get in trouble because there was a boundary to protect me.”
“And it didn’t make you mad that I was telling you what you could or couldn’t do?”
I shook my head. “No, not at all. I liked it. When you take charge like that, it’s…it’s exciting to me.” I stopped before I embarrassed myself again.
His expression clouded. “It’s weird, though. Now that I think about it, I would hate to be told what to do, like I did to you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No! You should have. I need it. Sam, I know you would hate it, because you don’t need external controls to keep yourself in check. You come pre-wired with your own clear boundaries. For whatever reason, I don’t. I would never tell you what we are or are not going to do, because you don’t need that kind of direction. But I do. It helps me. Does it make sense now?”
He looked deep into my eyes for a second before replying. “Maybe…kind of. So, if I said, without asking you, we’re having soup and sandwiches for lunch, and I want you to take a nap this afternoon, you’d be cool with that?”
I grinned. “Yes! Exactly what I need. That’s two decisions I don’t have to stress out about.”
“Why would that stress you out? It’s just lunch.”
“Because you can make that kind of decision almost without thinking and instinctively make a good decision that works for both of us. I would analyze it six ways from Sunday, and then fret about whether or not you were really okay with what I decided or just telling me you were to keep the peace. I don’t have that kind of confidence.”
He grinned. “And you’re saying I do.”
“Definitely. But it’s more than what we’re going to eat. I want to help you with the really big stuff, like buying our house in St. Louis. I have a team that can guide us on that kind of thing. But how we decorate it, or how we set things up when we get there, that can be all you. I love what you did with our bathrooms.”
He shrugged. “Your designer lady helped.”
“But you made the final decisions, and you and Charles got it done. I had nothing to do with it.”
“So you’d be cool if I handled the whole setup of the St. Louis house? Simon’s running everything from the office, right?”
I nodded. “He’ll help you with whatever you need. But it’s not just the house, Sam. I know I’m gonna need help figuring out how to study and stay up to speed on my classwork and balance my involvement with the company. It’s too much for me on my own. Heck, if JP goes with us, you guys can figure out meals and schedules and leave me out of it. I’ll go where you point me and eat what is put in front of me.”
“And you’re not gonna care if I don’t ask for your input?”
“Ask if you want to. I’ll tell you if I have a strong opinion, but listen…if I say something and it’s just not what you think we should do, then I want you to do it your way. I mean it. Please don’t do something you don’t think is right because you’re afraid it will hurt my feelings. It’s more important to me that you can make all these decisions as easily as possible.”
“You sure you didn’t bang your head a little too hard?” he asked, gently stroking my cheek.
I laughed. “I’m sure. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“So why today?”
I blushed and looked away.
“Tell me, Jack.”
Back on my knees, I faced him, face flaming red. “When you said you’d put me over your knee, I realized I would let you.” I debated for a few seconds, then said what I was thinking. “And I think I would like it,” I whispered.
He was quiet, mulling it over. The silence as he studied my face was a little unnerving.
“Do you think I’m messed up?” I asked.
“No,” he replied gently. “I was only joking, but…it does sort of make sense, given what you said you need.”
“I’m not asking you to do…that. Right now, I just want you to take charge more. Lead us as a family.”
“I can try. But you have to talk to me if I start to get heavy handed or whatever. I want you to love our life together, same as me.”
“I will, I promise.”
“So, after lunch, and after I’ve had my way with you, you’re gonna go down for a nap without a fuss?”
“Yep, sounds good.”
“Because if you don’t, you know what’s going to happen, don’t you?” he said, tapping his knee with a huge smile plastered across his handsome face.
Holy crap, what had I unleashed!
Hours later, I was awakened from my Sam-imposed nap by a soft pushing on my shoulder.
“Time to wake up, sleepy head.”
I groaned and rolled face up. Huh, no pain in my head. Odd, but welcome. I felt nothing but the bunched up covers underneath me.
Sam hopped up on the bed and carefully straddled my waist, hands resting on my naked stomach. I cracked an eye open and he graced me with the sexiest grin imaginable. I smiled. I felt so much better after my nap.
“You woke up happy,” he said.
I nodded. Still no pain. What a relief.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“A little after three. You slept for two hours. Thought it was time for you to get up or you won’t sleep tonight. And I have something I need to talk to you about.”
I slowly pushed up on my elbows. He made no move to get off my lap, just kept grinning at me. Well at least it couldn’t be bad news.
“I can’t get up,” I said, looking down to where he was sitting on me. He smiled and fell over on his side, then sat up next to me, reaching behind my back to help me to a sitting position as well.
“What’s up?”
“Kat called. I actually called her this morning when you were on the phone with the office, but she didn’t answer, so I left a message. She called me back while you were sleeping.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everybody’s good. We talked about this weekend and the camping trip.”
Ugh, the camping trip. The pain in my head flared up again as I remembered we had a million things to do to get ready for the family’s visit. I lifted a hand to my suddenly throbbing temple and tried to rub the pain away.
“Okay,” I said, rubbing both temples now. “What all do we need to do? How are they getting here? When are they coming? I need Margie to finalize travel arrangements…”
He put a finger to my lips to shut me up. His eyes flashed with amusement at my flustered state.
“Relax, little man. I’ve already handled everything.”
My hands dropped to the bed as I stared at him, stunned. “You did?”
“Well, you did ask me to take more control, right?” I nodded. “I thought this was one of those things I should handle as much as I could. Turns out Maggie had most of it all planned out already. She has the bedrooms assigned, cleaned, and ready to go. Charles had the pool cleaned while we were out of town. I went over the grocery list with both of them. And I called Margie at the office and she’s handling the flight schedule. All we have left to do is get ourselves ready for the big outdoors.”
I knew my mouth was hanging open. I knew I had asked him to do just what he apparently did. I was stunned he moved so fast with it, but I shouldn’t have been.
He gently lifted my chin to close my mouth, grinning ear to ear. “You’re gonna catch flies with that thing.”
I blinked twice, then smiled up at him. No more throbbing in my temples. “Thank you,” I whispered. “You have no idea.”
“I do now. Thanks for trusting me to do this. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to, until I was doing it. You sure you’re okay with me taking the lead on stuff like this?”
I sighed and laid back on the pillow. “Abso-friggin-lutely.” He laughed and flopped down next to me. We stared up at the ceiling and held hands in the afternoon sunlight painting the bedroom with a soft glow. It took me a minute to identify the strange, wonderful feeling spreading through my body.
I was…peaceful.
Sam rolled over and kissed my cheek. “In keeping with the theme of me taking charge, not to be bossy or anything, but I would like to go to an outdoor supply store before I take you out to dinner. Think you could handle it?”
I turned my head to face him. “I’ll do anything you want. I feel much, much better. Thank you for making me take a nap. You knew I needed it. And for the record, just between you and me,” I said, tracing his nipple through his t-shirt with my fingers. “Bossy Sam is super sexy. Turns me on when you start making demands.”
He grinned, his deep blue eyes igniting and slanting with that predator thing they do when he wants me. My dick hardened fully in my underwear. He kissed me, soft at first, then much deeper as he rolled on top, grinding his rigid cock against mine. Despite the covers and his shorts separating us, I swear I could feel every vein and ridge pushing against me.
I was ready for a rough ride, but he pulled back, panting. A thin smile underscored his dreamy eyes, glazed with lust and happiness. I bucked my hips, and he laughed. “Easy there, little man. I know you want me. I want you, too. But I want you on a slow simmer all evening long.”
I moaned. I wanted him right this very minute. “Stop teasing and fuck me. I need you inside me.”
“Oh, who’s being all bossy now?”
“Sam,” I pleaded.
“Jack,” he mocked.
I put on a pouty face and pretended to be all pitiful, but he just laughed. “You’re so full of shit, Schaeffer. Come on, move your sexy butt. We’ve got places to go and things to do.”
He leaned down and kissed me again, then whispered in my ear. “I promise, when I take you tonight, and I will take you, I’m so gonna own your ass. I’m gonna ride you long and hard. Oh yeah, you’re gonna feel me inside you for days. Something for you to think about while we shop for camping gear.”
He hopped off of me with a cheeky grin. I was struggling to breathe, I was so turned on. Oh my god, he knew how to play me. I had no doubt he was going to tease me and ramp me up all night long. Fuck yeah.
With only a slight wobble, I managed to stand next to the bed. When I was confident I wouldn’t fall, I pulled shorts, socks and shirt from my dresser and put them on.
“Meet me in the kitchen,” said Sam with a peck on my cheek and a pat on my butt.
I used the toilet, washed my hands, splashed some water on my face, and brushed my hair into something less frightening than total bed head.
Sam had an ice cold water bottle and blueberry muffin covered in a thin layer of butter waiting for me. “Eat this, drink this. I’ll get your shoes.”
I grinned as I wolfed down my muffin. I know I had asked him to take charge, but this was more than I could have hoped for. I was still grinning as I tied my shoes after Sam tossed them at my feet.
“You want another muffin?” he asked, buttering one for himself. “Dinner might be a while.”
I shook my head. “I’m good. Where are we going for dinner?”
He grinned and waved a buttery finger at me. “Nope. That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” Then the big jerk popped that finger into his mouth and sucked on it slowly. I might have whimpered.
“You two ready to go?” asked Ben, who suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Or… should I come back later?”
Sam grinned, I blushed, and Ben laughed out loud. “Busted. Guess you’re feeling better,” he said with a wink in my direction.
Rubbing the heat at the back of my neck, I shrugged. Still wearing his cheeky grin, Sam tossed his butter knife in the dishwasher, grabbed three cold water bottles from the fridge and jerked his head toward the mud room. I followed them out to the garage.
Sam drove his new truck. The big silver rig was so him. He belonged in that driver seat, totally in control, sitting high above the road. I reached across the console for his hand and settled in next to him.
Ben and another guy I didn’t recognize followed us in a separate SUV. My brain started to ponder just where he got all his guys and the ever-changing security vehicles, but I caught myself and immediately dropped it. Not my problem, not my worry. Someone in the office paid those bills, and I trusted Ben, so…yeah, moving on.
“What’s going on in that sexy mind of yours?” asked Sam, steering expertly around a curve as we descended the foothills toward the southern Denver metropolitan area.
“Nothing,” I said, squeezing his hand. “I like this, you being able to drive us without someone else in the car.”
He smiled beneath his sunglasses and nodded. “This truck is fuckin’ awesome, man. The twins will love it.”
“You excited to see them again?”
“Hell, yeah. Aren’t you?”
I grinned. “Are you kidding? They made me their Uncle Jack. They’re like my two favorite superheroes.”
“Superheroes? They’re nine.”
“Yep. And they pack a whole lotta love into those nine years, don’t they?”
He grinned. “Sure do.” He gave me a quick, wistful glance, then returned his eyes to the twisting road.
“Someday, Sam. Someday,” I whispered, squeezing his hand a little tighter.
He nodded. We both knew it wasn’t the right time, but if anyone deserved to be a father, it was Sam, and the kid would be getting the best dad ever. Someday, we would make it happen.
Changing the subject, I asked, “Where are we going again?”
He smiled. “Place called Sierra Trading Post.”
“Trading Post? What, like the wild, wild west?”
He laughed. “Not exactly. It’s an outdoor supply store. We need camping gear, backpacks, stuff like that. Oh, and we need to get you some decent hiking boots. If you’re gonna be traipsing around in the woods, you need proper shoes on your feet.”
I feigned offense, palm flattened on my puffed out chest. “I’ll have you know, mister, I do not ‘traipse’ around in the woods. You obviously have me confused with someone else. Explore, maybe. Get lost, most definitely. But I never ‘traipse’.”
“Oh, I see. My bad. Making a note,” he said, releasing my hand and pressing a finger to his temple like he was actually writing on his brain. “Jack Schaeffer does not ‘traipse’. Ever.”
“Damn straight. I don’t flounce or sashay, either.”
Sam could barely contain himself. “Got it. But…um…for the record, I’m pretty sure you’re not all that straight.”
I blushed as a giggle escaped. Sam burst out laughing. The sounds of his happiness exploded inside me, erasing some of the dark places with pure joy. It satisfied something in my soul to know I could make him laugh like that, especially after what I had put him through the night before. God, I loved him so much.
We pulled into the Cherry Hills Marketplace and Sam decided to park his big rig across two spots, far away from any other cars. The engine rumble died. He tossed his sunglasses on the dash and squeezed my hand.
“Ready to get outfitted?”
I turned to look into his deep blue eyes and my breath hitched. I nodded, unable to speak.
“You okay, little man?” he asked. I instantly despised the concerned tone in his voice. I wanted to keep things light and easy between us, but suddenly I could barely breathe.
I nodded and bit my bottom lip, never breaking eye contact.
“What is it?” He squeezed my hand tighter.
“I love you so much, Sam,” I whispered. “I don’t…I don’t…”
“Jack, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing,” I squeezed out. “It’s just…I don’t want to disappoint you.”
He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled our foreheads together.
“You’ve never disappointed me, little man. I’m crazy about you. Don’t you believe me?”
I mumbled in the affirmative. “I know you are. But there’s stuff you love that I…I don’t know anything about. Camping or fishing or any of it. I suck at crap like this.”
I pulled back to look straight into his eyes. “But I want to learn…for you. I really do want to do this for you. Will you teach me? You know, so I don’t do something totally stupid, like get lost again?”
He gave me a soft, sexy smile. “Of course, little man. I’ll make a woodsman out of you, yet.”
I sighed and leaned my forehead on his with my best puppy dog eyes. “I know what to do with someone’s wood.”
He gave a short hiss as his eyes slanted sideways, nostrils flaring. Palming his crotch, with a low growl he said, “You are such a little shit.”
Fighting a grin, “Just reminding you I can be a fast learner, when I have the perfect teacher.”
“Fuck me,” he whispered.
“Whenever you want, however you want it…teacher.”
He groaned around a huge grin, pushing harder on his crotch. “Get your smart ass out of the truck, Schaeffer, before I do throw you over my knee.”
I faked a disappointed frown, but pushed back and reached for the passenger door. Hopping down to the pavement, I realized I had a crotch problem myself. I glanced back to where Ben and his buddy had parked one row back. I walked around the front of the truck to block the hand adjusting my hard-as-stone dick in my pants.
Sam grinned as I gave his cheek a quick peck. We started walking up to the entrance of Sierra Trading Post. As we stepped up to the sidewalk fronting the store, I leaned against his shoulder and whispered, “You know, they say that discipline only works if you’re willing to carry out the threat when necessary.”
I left him standing on the sidewalk, stunned, mouth gaping like a fish caught on a hook. Oh yeah, I sunk that baby deep. My hole twitched in anticipation. I may not be much of a fisherman, but I knew what to do after I reeled him in. Woodsman, indeed.
“Why do we need two tents?” I asked, puzzled at Sam’s indecision over choosing the yellow or the orange contraption displayed along with ten others in the middle of the store. I also thought the fake vignettes of campfires complete with every kind of food preparation utensil specially designed for outdoor cooking were over the top.
Sam looked at me like I had lost my mind, which given the fact that I was even considering living outdoors for two nights, he was probably right.
“Think about it, Jack. If it’s just you and me camping, we don’t need a six-man monstrosity like that blue one over there.” He pointed to a gigantic tent with multiple windows and layers of flaps and awnings and I don’t know what all. I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to put up, though the fact that it was the only tent on display with enough ceiling height for me to stand upright appealed.
Sam leaned in closer to whisper so the sales guy hovering nearby couldn’t eavesdrop. “Besides, do you really want other people in our tent when I slip my hard dick inside you and force you to lick your precum from my fingers while I pound you into the ground?”
A small gasp escaped my lips and breathing was suddenly difficult. Blushing, I shook my head. He teased me further with a smile and a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Speaking in a normal voice, he said, “Since we have to hike up into the woods, we’ll be carrying everything we need on our backs. We definitely don’t need anything that heavy. These two will work. The orange one for you and me, the yellow one for David and the boys.”
“What about your Dad?” I asked, finding my voice again. “Isn’t he coming, too?”
“Mom said he was. But I don’t know if he’ll want to come camping or not. If he does, we’ll have enough space in our tent for bags and what not. The yellow tent sleeps four, and the boys are small enough, they don’t take up much space.”
I shrugged. “Whatever you think, Mr. Boone.”
“Mr. Boone?”
I grinned. “All you need is a coon skin cap and you’ll be my very own Daniel Boone.”
Sam’s eyes danced merrily as he motioned for the sales guy. While he discussed rain flys and ventilation air flow and temperature ratings, I amused myself by pretending to roast plastic hot dogs in a wire basket contraption, hanging it over the billowing fake paper flames of a campfire.
Squatting next to the fake rocks circling the fake fire, my mind went to Sam and I in our new tent, the weight of him across my back, pressing me down as he pushed deeper and deeper inside my ass, his teeth nipping at the back of my neck, his hands locking mine behind my back so I couldn’t escape.
Blood rushed to my dick, and I fell sideways. Reaching out to catch myself on a rock, the wire basket caught the edges of the paper flames, puncturing holes and causing them to deflate.
Precariously balanced on one hand, I froze. The fire was totally out, the flames a sad pile of red, orange and yellow crepe paper. Oops. With a click, the wire basket opened and six fake hot dogs rolled across the astroturf. Perfect.
Thankfully Sam and his sales buddy were deep in animated conversation and no one else seemed to notice. I left the hot dogs laying where they were and moved over to the big blue tent.
Sure, it might have been heavy and bulky and needed a team to set it up, but it was like the Taj Mahal of tents. Two entrances, six windows, and inside they had set up two hammocks to demonstrate how elevated camping could be. All it needed was a private bathroom with running water.
It was Sam’s fault, really. He’s the one that had me so buzzing with lust that my mind immediately went to being pushed down on one of the hammocks, my shorts at my ankles, my underwear in shreds, as he pistoned in and out of my hole, playful slaps landing on my ass with each stroke. I didn’t even realize I was laying across the hammock until it fell over.
One leg of the hammock’s metal support caught under the edge of the tent, and since they hadn’t really staked it into the concrete floor…well, let’s just say it took Sam and the sales guy a few panicked minutes to excavate me from the collapsed tent.
“Are you okay? What happened?” whispered Sam. The sales guy, who honestly could have been Grizzly Adams, kept fighting a smile as he shook his head at the blue pile of tent rubble.
“Uh…I think you were right, Sam. This blue one is more than we probably need,” I said with a sheepish grin, hoping not to die from embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” I said, turning to Grizzly, whose real name I soon learned was Bob. “I’ll help you put it back up.”
His face lit up with a wide smile. “Don’t worry about it. Second time this week the damn thing has collapsed. I told the manager not to put those fool hammocks in there. Who the hell carries a metal hammock into the woods? Suckers weigh fifty pounds a piece.”
“I can’t imagine,” I said. Sam made a noise in his throat and I followed his eyes to the collapsed campfire and the hot dogs strewn about the astroturf campsite. His raised eyebrows said it all.
“You boys need anything else besides the tents?” asked Bob.
“Actually, can you point us to sleeping bags?” asked Sam, giving me an exasperated look.
“Hanging on the back wall in that corner over there. Tanya should be around. She can answer any questions you have. I’ll have your two tents pulled from inventory and brought up front.”
Sam sighed. “Thank you for your help.”
“No problem.”
“I’m so sorry about the…well, you can probably tell I’m not much of a camper,” I said.
He grinned. “You’re fine. I think your friend here knows what he’s doing. Follow his lead and you’ll be okay. Nothing to it, really.”
Sam looked at the fallen tent, then back to me, shaking his head. He sighed, shook Bob’s hand, then turned, jerking his head for me to follow him toward sleeping bags.
“Bye, Bob. Happy camping,” I said. He smiled so big his eyes crinkled at the corners as I turned to follow Sam.
Why there were over thirty different sleeping bags to choose from, I’ll never understand. Sam tried to patiently explain to me the variance between temperature ratings, material composition, and I can’t remember what else. All I knew was I hoped he picked the big red one. It was the largest and looked the softest and most smumpfy.
Tanya, a bright eyed, extremely chipper young lady, was eager to help us choose. Sam asked her a ton of questions, answers to which she had at the ready, like a walking encyclopedia for all things outdoor sleeping.
Sam looked at me. “What do you think, Jack?”
“I like the red one,” I said without hesitation. Sam’s eyebrows shot up and he glanced at Tanya.
“Great choice. That’s our best two-man sleeping bag. Great for cold weather, and the highest level of comfort we have,” said Tanya. She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye, cocking a shoulder toward Sam. “I can see why you’d pick that one. Who wants to sleep alone in the woods, right?”
I blushed down to my toes. Sam smiled at me and my hole twitched. Maybe my campsite destruction was forgiven?
“You knew?” he asked, bobbing his head toward the hanging red sleeping bag.
I nodded, biting my bottom lip with a shrug. I could read the tag on the big red bag, same as him.
He grinned wide. “We’ll take that one, and four of the black all-weather bags you recommended.”
Tanya congratulated Sam on his choices and suggested air mattresses for each. He took one look at my eager face and agreed.
Tanya smiled at me. “Not much for roughing it?”
I shrugged. “What can I say? He loves the woods. Whatever makes him happy, right?”
She laughed and Sam rolled his eyes again, but he was smiling.
“Anything else I can help you with?” asked Tanya.
“Fishing gear?” asked Sam.
Tanya pointed across the store to row upon row of fishing rods pointing up toward the ceiling.
As we walked toward the fishing department, Sam leaned closer and whispered. “I have no idea what you did to the poor tent over there, but it won’t get you out of this camping trip. And when I get you up into the woods, and we’re inside that big red sleeping bag, you’re gonna be very glad we sprung for the air mattresses.”
My breath hitched. He glanced sideways at me and grinned, his eyes slanting slightly. I stumbled over my own feet and nearly fell. He caught my arm and steadied me.
“What’s going on with you? Are you okay?” he whispered.
“It’s your fault. You’ve got me all hot and bothered and I can’t think straight,” I said softly.
His eyes slanted further and he grinned big. “Cool. I don’t want you thinking about anything but what I’m gonna do to that ass of yours when I get you home tonight. After what you did to that campsite, I probably should put you over my knee. Seriously?”
I shrugged and smiled innocently — sort of.
I behaved myself in the fishing aisles. Mostly. I did knock over a large bucket of purple and red rubber worms, which reminded me of Gummi candies. I had them almost picked up before Sam came around the corner to see where I had disappeared to.
“Really?” he whispered, bending down to help me pick up the last of the runaway worms. “If I didn’t know better I’d swear you’re doing this on purpose.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I’m not trying to make a mess. I guess I’m just nervous or something.”
He sat on his haunches and looked at me, putting a gentle hand on my arm. “Are you okay?”
I sighed and nodded. “I am. And I’m trying not to wig out. I know camping and fishing is fun for you, and I really do want to learn how to do it all. I meant what I said about we can’t just do stuff I want to do.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheek, leaving a hot spark on my face. “I love you, little man.”
“I love you, too. So much,” I whispered.
“A two-man sleeping bag, huh?”
I gave him a shy grin. “Probably not a good idea for me to be on my own in the woods,” I said, bending over to retrieve a couple of rubber worms from under the shelving unit.
“I’ll take care of you,” he said, playfully slapping my upturned ass. “Looking forward to showing you all kinds of things we can do in the woods.”
I followed Sam to the shoe department, where there had to be fifty different types of hiking boots on display. They all pretty much looked the same to me. Heavy and awkward.
“Sit in that chair right there, and I’ll bring some over for you to try on,” said Sam, pointing.
I sat with a smile on my face and watched him as he studied the information tags next to each display. He selected three different pair.
“What size are you?” he asked.
“I’ve never measured it. Smaller than yours, for sure.”
He grinned and leaned over me. “And you’re gonna feel every inch of it tonight. Count on it,” he whispered. “Now answer my question.”
I shrugged with a big grin. “Never worn hiking boots before, so I don’t know.”
He pulled the metal contraption for measuring your feet from under a chair nearby and told me to stand up. I put my foot down where he said and he adjusted some slider thing and looked up at me.
“You’re an eleven medium,” he said.
“What are you?”
“I’m a thirteen.”
I grinned. “Like I said, smaller than yours.”
He pointed for me to sit back down, which I did. Sam motioned to a salesman changing out sale signs on various tables.
“How can I help you?” the middle-aged, roly poly man asked Sam.
“Can we try these in an eleven and a thirteen?” Sam handed the man all three boot samples and sat down next to me as the salesman shuffled off to a backroom.
I rubbed Sam’s thigh under the arms of the chairs as we sat next to each other. He didn’t look at me, but his wide grin told me he liked what I was doing.
“I like that you’re bigger than me,” I whispered.
The back of Sam’s neck reddened and his breath hitched, but before he could say anything, the salesman returned with two arms full of shoe boxes.
After trying on all three, and walking back and forth across the showroom floor, Sam decided we would get the same pair, something called a Vasque Men’s Breeze something or other. They were black and olive, with a combination of leather and mesh. Supposedly they were waterproof. Famous last words.
An hour later, after Sam paid for everything using his own credit card linked to a joint account Todd had set up for us a few weeks ago, he and Ben pulled the trucks up to the loading area while I stood guard next to the huge pile of outdoor supplies that filled the dock. I had no idea what most of it was for, but no doubt I would find out. Seemed to me like we could outfit a whole caravan to the top of Mt. Everest with all the crap we bought, but it was his show, and I was all in.
Ben helped Sam load everything in the back of the SUV while his security buddy waited behind the wheel, speaking into a cell phone. They had to put all the seats down in the back to fit it.
“You need all this for a simple overnight in the woods?” Ben asked Sam.
Sam nodded. “Might be overkill, but I don’t want to be caught flat footed. I don’t really know what David’s experience is. I know the boys will be fine. They love camping.”
“And this one?” he said, jerking a thumb at me with a grin.
“A work in progress,” said Sam with an even bigger grin.
I rolled my eyes and climbed in the passenger seat. Ben was still chuckling to himself as he did the same in the SUV parked behind us.
The restaurant Sam had picked for dinner was close by. Like across the parking lot close. We could have walked over in one minute flat. I gave him a look as he parked the big rig yet again. He shrugged and grinned at me.
“What can I say? I want to keep an eye on her.”
“Her?”
More shrugging. “Just an expression. I don’t think a truck really has a gender.”
“I hope not, because if this monster is a girl truck, she’s a little scary.”
He laughed. “Come on, you’re not afraid of girls, Jack.”
“I’m afraid of everything,” I whispered.
Sam reached for my hand and squeezed it. I looked into his eyes, so full of love and concern. I leaned closer, resting my forehead on his as he stroked my cheek.
“Except you,” I said. “I trust you completely.”
He sighed and kissed my forehead, dropping his hands to cradle my neck. “We’ll get you through this. I promise.”
If anyone could, it would be Sam.
The Wooden Table was primarily a wine bar, but they did have excellent, simple Italian food. And a lot of it, which Sam took full advantage of. We were seated up front, near the wall of windows looking out to the parking lot. Not a great view, but the mouth-watering aromas wafting across the dining room more than made up for it. Plus Sam could keep an eye on his truck, though why he needed to when there were two armed security agents sitting in an SUV two spaces over was a mystery.
Soft, warm lighting and cozy decor surrounded us in casual comfort. It was early for dinner, so we had the place largely to ourselves. Our waiter, Max, a charming man in his late forties, enthusiastically explained wine options, but soon got the hint we didn’t drink wine. Nor did we accept his offer of a mixed drink from the bar. He walked away, his expression confused.
“Are we weird?” I asked, unfolding my napkin across my lap and reaching for a slice of warm focaccia bread.
“Weird? You mean because we’re gay?” said Sam.
The soft butter glided like silk across my bread. “No, because we don’t drink.”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t, not to me. It’s just…waiters sometimes look at us like…I don’t know, like there’s something wrong with us when we don’t order alcohol.”
“Huh. I never noticed.” He buttered a second slice of bread and pushed the whole thing into his mouth.
“Easy there, big guy. You have a steak coming the size of your head. What is hanger steak, anyway?”
He shrugged, chewing his bread. He swallowed a drink of water. “I have no idea. Some part of the cow, so it has to be good.”
I smiled. Sam was a simple man. He liked what he liked, and ignored what he didn’t, and didn’t give a crap what anyone else thought about his choices. No fuss, no stress. Just…Sam.
“Why do you care?” he asked, laser-beam focused on me as the restaurant lights dimmed.
“About your steak? I don’t. I was just curious. I’d never heard of it before.”
“No, about the drinking thing.”
“Oh…um…I don’t. I mean, I’m not going to drink just because someone thinks I should. You know why, and I know why you don’t, either.”
“So why did you ask?” His questions were gentle and interested, not accusatory. His blue eyes sparkled in the soft lighting.
I sat back and dropped my hands into my lap, biting my lower lip, thinking. He took another sip of water and waited.
“I guess…it makes me uncomfortable?”
“Uncomfortable how?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I don’t like thinking they’re thinking something bad about me. Like I’m a freak or something.”
Sam looked across the table at me. I could feel the sudden tension in the muscles of my arms and neck. I was on edge, and it annoyed me. Sam reached across the table and I took his hand. His thumb stroked the back of mine.
“You’re not a freak, Jack. You’re just a guy who is what he is. You like what you like.”
I sighed. “Which is exactly why most people don’t like me — I’m different.”
Sam frowned. “Sure, some people will always have a problem with different, but it’s their problem. Doesn’t have to be yours.”
I let go of Sam’s hand as our waiter returned to refill water glasses and light the votive candle hiding in a sculpted red glass on our table. He smiled in a friendly way, but said nothing as he departed to take another couple’s dinner order across the dining room.
“What are you thinking, little man?” asked Sam, candle light now flickering across his face.
“A part of me knows I should let it go and not worry about it. I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But it’s not that easy. I feel it, and it hurts.”
“What hurts?” asked Sam, reaching for my hand again. I glanced toward the other couple but they weren’t paying attention to us, so I gave my hand to Sam. I needed the physical connection.
I closed my eyes and said, “The rejection.”
Sam sighed and when I opened my eyes, his were staring back at me, two deep blue flashing orbs with piercing intensity. He was angry.
In a harsh, almost scary whisper, he said, “There’s a part of me that wants to destroy every single person who did that to you.” The power of his statement might have frightened me if I didn’t know his deeper goodness.
I squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I’ll survive. I always have. And I have you now, so I’m good.”
He studied me in the candle light, his fingers lightly dancing across mine. The anger faded, replaced by something even deeper and more powerful.
“I…,” he started, then stopped to regather his thoughts. I waited.
“I know we’ve only known each other a short time,” he said. “I don’t understand how I can feel what I feel for you. It’s so…so much more than I ever dreamed of. Like I’m drowning, but in a good way.”
I smiled. I knew that feeling.
“I want to be everything you need,” he said. “I know that’s not totally possible, but I have every intention of doing all I can to take away the pain, Jack. I can’t stand to see the hurt in your eyes. You don’t deserve it. I want to take away every bad thought and every hurtful, stupid thing someone has ever said to you. I want to shield you and protect you and keep you safe.”
“You do,” I said, tears welling up. “You have no idea how much you’ve helped me already, Sam.”
He nodded, but then shook his head. “It feels like I’m not doing enough, though. I mean, the waiter made you feel…”
“Shhh…hey, big guy?” I said, squeezing his hand again. “That’s not his fault. Most of my stuff is inside my own head. I do know that. Sure, I’ve had my share of…ugliness from other people. But I have to figure out how to deal with it, without it…I don’t know, marking me? Becoming my identity?”
He sat back, still holding my hand. “How can I help you do that?”
I smiled. “By being who you already are. You may not realize it, but when you took charge today, it fixed something inside me. Might just be a little thing, might be bigger, I don’t really know. All I do know is that something is better, more settled in me. I don’t understand it. I just know it matters.”
He nodded and took a sip of water. “This decision making thing – I’m concerned you’ll feel rejected or something if I overstep.”
I smiled. “How can I feel rejected when you’ve spent the whole day telling me how much you want me. All the things you’re gonna do to me when you get me home?”
He grinned. “Yeah, but that’s just sex. I’m talking deeper than that.”
I laughed. “I don’t know, you go pretty deep, if you ask me.”
His eyes flashed. “You know what I mean.”
“Sam…listen to me,” I said, my tone turning serious. “It’s never been just sex for me. It’s always been about something deeper, from the very beginning with us. It’s less about the release and more about the connection, the trust it takes for me to…surrender. I need to be able to let go of everything else and just be with you and do whatever you want to do, however you want to do it.”
His eyes danced and he grinned. “You really do like it when I take charge, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Very much. And I’m pretty sure you like taking charge, too.”
His grin widened, and I swear he might have blushed a little in the candle light.
Our waiter arrived with our entrees, ending our discussion. Sam’s eyes brightened at the sight of his huge steak and the pile of mashed potatoes on his plate. He cut into the hunk of meat and took a bite. He groaned with wholly inappropriate pleasure, and it made me happy.
“Wow, is this good,” he said when he finally came up for air. “You want a bite?”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t dare. Glad you like it.”
“How’s your dinner?” he asked.
“Fine,” I said, pushing the nasty red beets to one side. “The chicken is delicious. Sweet potatoes are decent, too.”
He grinned, looking at my plate. “Not gonna eat your beets?”
“I will when you eat your peas.” He made a face, and I knew I was safe from vegetables for another meal.
We ate in a comfortable silence. I enjoyed it. Sam and I got so little time together, just the two of us, so it was a nice treat. No one wanted anything from me, no one was criticizing me for anything. Well…maybe the waiter, but I stopped caring at some point. It took too much energy to be angry and wrought up.
Sam pushed his plate toward the center of the table. All that remained were a pile of unwanted green peas. The beets on my plate were not going home with us, either.
Patting his stomach, Sam said, “You want dessert?”
I shrugged. I could take it or leave it. I wasn’t overly full. “You should get some if you want,” I said.
“Will you share?”
“Of course.”
“What should we get?” he asked, reaching for the small dessert menu our waiter had dropped off when he cleared our dinner plates.
I said nothing. He looked up at me and I smiled. His eyes connected to mine and I let him in, still saying not a word. He nodded, waived the waiter over, and promptly ordered tiramisu for two and a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I said when the waiter had departed.
Sam nodded. “How you doing?”
“I want you to take me home and make me do things.”
His eyes slanted at the corners and his mouth twisted into a sexy grin. I watched his mind conjure the image of something he wanted to do, and my breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I would like it.
When the tiramisu arrived a few minutes later, I took two bites, then slipped my foot out of my shoe and searched under the table for his leg. When I found it, his eyes registered surprise, then pleasure. He groaned around his spoon.
I rubbed the side of his leg and smiled. He grinned back at me. He took a final sip of coffee, put his cup down, and raised a hand to get our waiter’s attention.
“Check, please.”
I spent the twenty-minute drive home holding Sam’s hand and wishing it was safe to do even more to him while he drove his big truck. At a stop light, he turned and grabbed the back of my head, pulling me into a deep, passionate kiss that nearly bruised our lips. I could feel the heat radiating off him. His eyes made it very clear I was his and would do whatever he demanded.
My pulse was racing as we pulled into the garage. Sam pressed the button that silenced the growling engine.
“I need to help Ben with putting the gear away. Wait for me in the kitchen,” he said. I nodded.
Slipping out of the truck, I adjusted my hard dick and stepped into the mudroom. I removed my shoes and wandered into the kitchen. Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, I leaned against the island counter and waited. The house was perfectly quiet, save for muffled noises coming from the garage.
Sam arrived as I swallowed the last of my water. He walked up to me, took the empty bottle from my hand, and kissed me softly. I wrapped my hands around his waist as he moved in very close, hot breath mixing between us.
He leaned his mouth toward my ear and whispered what he was going to do to me. My knees almost buckled but I nodded my assent, and with another soft kiss he turned me around, pressing me against the counter top.
He stroked my ass through my shorts, digging in with his hands and squeezing my cheeks hard. He reached around and unfastened the button. My shorts slipped down my legs, leaving me standing there in my black boxer briefs. From behind, he lifted the sides of my shirt up and over my head. I shivered in anticipation.
His hands went back to massaging and molding my ass. I heard his zipper drop and saw his shorts slide across the kitchen floor out of the corner of my eye. His tongue grazed my spine in a long slide from the waistband of my underwear, all the way up to the back of my neck.
Pressing me hard into the counter, I felt his rock hard cock grinding into the crack of my ass.
“This ass is mine,” he said. I nodded.
“Say it,” he demanded in a rough voice.
I swallowed hard. “My ass is yours.”
He pushed the back of my underwear down below my cheeks. He held two fingers in front of my mouth and I sucked them in as deep as they would go. He groaned and bit the back of my neck as I slobbered on his fingers.
Then they were pressing against my hole. I leaned over, resting my weight on the counter, and sighed. First one finger, then the second, pierced through any resistance, stretching and warming and readying me for what was to surely come.
Massaging the inside of my ass, Sam leaned against my back.
“Tell me again,” he whispered.
“My ass is yours. Forever.”