Sam took charge of outfitting the group for our hike into the woods, with the twins’ help.
“Tell me if this is too heavy,” said Sam, handing a large green, fully loaded backpack to David. He shrugged it over his shoulders like he wore one every day to the office. With a grunt, he nodded and said it was fine.
“This is yours,” he said, handing me a bright orange pack. No way would I be invisible in the woods. I slipped the straps over my shoulders and adjusted the weight. It seemed doable.
“What about the tents?” I asked, slipping off the backpack and setting it at my feet.
Sam pointed to the roll hanging below David’s pack. “He has theirs, I’ll carry ours. You’ve got our sleeping bag. The food is divided among the five of us. Hey, guys!” he yelled toward the twins racing around the front lawn.
Skidding to a stop in front of him, Camden saluted. “Reporting for duty, Uncle Sam.”
David and I grinned. It wouldn’t be long before Cam would be in some branch of the armed services. It’s all he talked about, when he wasn’t rough housing with Carter or getting into general mischief.
The boys had brought their own backpacks, which Sam had taken the time to load. Setting one each on their shoulders, they high fived each other.
“Let’s get this show on the road, people,” said a smiling Carter. David laughed and ruffled his hair. He ducked and took two steps away, swatting his white blond hair back into place.
Sam’s father, Curtis, suddenly appeared on the driveway, followed by his mother. She was trying to hide a smile and failing. Without a word, Curtis yanked Sam into a solid hug and several resounding slaps to his muscled back. When he released Sam, his eyes were moist.
Then he turned those eyes to me. “Come here,” he said with a grin and open arms. Not one to turn down a Wainwright hug, I stepped forward. The next second I felt my feet leave the ground as this man wrapped me up in his arms, lifting me like I weighed nothing.
“Dad? What’s going on?” asked a bemused Sam.
“Like you don’t know. Seriously? Honma clubs?”
Sam laughed. “Thought you might like those. They belonged to Phillip Franklin. Jack and I want you to have them.”
Curtis looked at me. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. It’s the first thing Sam said when we found them in the study, like they were just waiting for someone to love them and use them again. I couldn’t agree more. Did you open the envelope?”
“He did,” said Caroline. “How sweet of you to ask your friends to include him.”
“Billy will be here any minute, so get your gear,” said Sam. “He’ll drive you to the course and see that you meet up with the guys. Have fun, Dad. Show ‘em what you can do with those clubs.”
“You guys are too much,” said Curtis. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Alright,” said Sam, rubbing his hands together. “We’ve got some camping to do. Who’s with me?”
I raised a hand amidst shouts of glee from two screaming boys jumping up and down in the driveway. David laughed and raised his hand, too.
After helping me get my backpack in place, Sam donned his gear, then handed David three fishing poles and kept two for himself. I noticed in addition to his backpack, Sam had a soft-sided tackle box clipped to one of the straps.
I swatted at a bug buzzing around my ear and wiggled my toes in the new hiking boots. My feet were already hot, and sweat was running down my back. Sam was in his glory, and for the hundredth time I vowed to endure whatever came our way to make this little adventure all he needed it to be — or die trying, like, literally. Crap, it was hot!
Kat came out and hugged the boys, much to their annoyance. She didn’t care. “You listen to your father and uncles. And don’t do anything stupid up there, you hear me. You get hurt and you’ll be answering to me, got it?”
“Yes, mother,” said Cam, totally annoyed. Kat slapped his head playfully, then kissed the top of it.
“Love you both. Now go have fun. And be nice to your Uncle Jack.”
“Thanks, Mom,” said Carter with a big grin.
Kat kissed David on the cheek. “Thank you for doing this with them.” He looked into her eyes and nodded, more relaxed than I had ever seen him. I wasn’t sure who wanted this camping trip more, David or the kids.
“Sam?” she said, turning to us.
“Yeah?”
“Bring them back in one piece, would you please?”
He grinned. “I’ll try.”
Looking into my eyes, she smiled wide. “Good luck.”
“Gee…thanks,” I said.
She laughed. “You’ll be fine.” Then leaning in closer, she whispered in my ear. “Just remember to run faster, right?”
I shut my mouth as she kissed my cheek, then turned and went back in the house.
I sighed, stood up straighter, and tried to ignore the stinging sweat in my eyes. Two days of roughing it in the woods. What could possibly go wrong?
Calling it a camping “trip” might have been a bit of an exaggeration. It was more of a hike. After checking the radio connections with Ben, Sam led the five of us out back and into the woods, following the trail he had blazed weeks before.
Under the canopy of trees it was cooler, and aside from pushing low-hanging branches out of the way, the path was fairly easy. As we went, Sam pointed out the orange paint splotches on trees he had made after finding me lost in these same woods, instructing the boys in the finer aspects of trail marking.
Ten minutes in, the path sloped upward, and we arranged ourselves in a single file, Sam in front, followed by the twins. David had my back as I watched over the boys. Thankfully Sam kept a leisurely pace, so it wasn’t exhausting. I breathed in the fresh mountain air and listened to the birds and other small animal noises overhead. The soft crunch of pine needles under our feet lulled me into a relaxed stupor.
The boys wanted to stop and explore around a small stream cascading down a rocky gully. Sam suggested they fill their canteens with water falling over a rock slab, which of course lead to Cam splashing his brother and the water fight that ensued was hilarious. With no mother around to quash their boyish enthusiasm, they revelled in their freedom to cut up and just have fun — their way.
Sam handed me a metal water bottle. “Taste it,” he said, nodding toward the little waterfall. I shrugged and stepped over to the small waterfall, then bent down to fill the bottle. Not accustomed to an extra twenty plus pounds of crap strapped to my back, I of course lost my balance and fell into the stream.
Crap, it was cold! Laughing themselves silly, Carter and Cam did their best to help me up, red faced and mortified.
“Refreshing, Uncle Jack?” said Cam with a stupid grin.
“Something like that,” I mumbled with a sigh. My shorts were soaked on one side, but I was otherwise unscathed. It could have been worse.
“Here, let me,” said Carter, taking the water bottle from my hand. He deftly filled it, then handed it back to me.
Sam was smiling. Even from ten feet away I could see the love in his eyes. I smiled and shrugged.
“How’d I do?” I asked, like I’d planned the whole thing.
David laughed and Sam’s smile widened.
“You were perfect,” he said. “How’s it taste?”
I took a sip from the bottle and was surprised again with how cold it was. And delicious. “Wow, this is good,” I said, stepping back onto the trail. Sam grabbed my face and kissed me.
“Ewww,” said Cam. “Don’t look Carter. He’s doing it again.” Carter laughed and pushed his brother’s hand away from his face.
“You okay?” Sam whispered.
I nodded and grinned. “Bound to happen sometime. Might as well get it over with.”
We reached the lake maybe an hour into the hike. It only took that long because Sam kept stopping to point out certain types of trees and foliage to the twins. How he saw the mule deer camouflaged in a thicket a hundred yards away, I’ll never know. By the time he called a break I was beginning to think he’d missed his life purpose — instead of a judge, maybe he should aim for park ranger?
We found a large clearing on the near side of the lake, and Sam deemed it a good spot to set up camp for the night. He sent the boys off to gather firewood while the men erected the tents.
“You got this?” he asked me, handing me the bag containing the smaller orange tent.
I nodded. “Where do you want it?”
“Let’s put it up over there,” he said, pointing to the far edge of the clearing, just under a large overhanging branch. It was flat, the ground covered in dense wild grass. Looked like a perfect hideout for a family of snakes or something to me. I started to protest but Sam was helping David so I held my tongue and resolved to follow his instruction.
With a large stick, I beat back the high grass and trampled it down to create a patch roughly the size of our tent. Using the same stick, I pried up two rocks that would have been painfully uncomfortable to sleep on. Thankfully nothing came scurrying out from underneath.
With a deep breath, I emptied the contents of the nylon carrying case on the ground and put together the flexible poles. Spreading the tent canvas into a rectangle, I inserted the first pole fairly easily. The second one took a bit of effort, but I remembered Sam’s instruction to bend it in the middle, and the end slid into the proper canvas slot at the corner.
“I did it!” I yelled, quite proud of myself.
Sam looked over and smiled at me. “I knew you could. Now you just need to turn it around so the door faces the clearing. We don’t want a wolverine to wander in at night, right?”
I yelped. “A what? Nevermind, don’t tell me.” I quickly turned the tent around, scanning the woods beyond for the watching eyes of hungry predators. Sam came over and showed me how to anchor the corners to the ground with thin metal pegs. Thankfully the ground was soft enough we didn’t need the rubber mallet he’d brought along. He seemed to think of everything, which helped chase away thoughts of invading wolverines.
The twins dragged large rocks from the edges of the lake into a circle in the center of the clearing, after carefully removing any flammable foliage. Then they assembled the wood they had gathered and started a roaring fire.
“Save some wood for later,” said David, stepping back from the burning blaze.
He and Sam used pocket knives to carve sharp points on the end of straight sticks, handing one to each of the twins, and another to me.
“Time to roast up some weenies,” said Sam, rubbing his dirty hands together. He extracted a small cooler from his backpack and opened it, pulling out a package of hotdogs. We each took one, stuck it on the end of our sticks, and hung them out over the open fire.
“No buns?” I whispered, crouching down next to Sam.
“Nope. Too hard to carry on a hike. We just eat ‘em right off the stick, right boys?”
“Yay!” squealed the twins.
“Yay,” said their less enthusiastic father, with a wink in my direction.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. Sam jostled my shoulder with a grin.
With a little ketchup and mustard — Sam handed out little restaurant packets — the hot dogs weren’t bad. Mine was a little charred on one side where I dropped it into the fire and Sam had to rescue it, but it tasted good. I washed it down with the ice cold fresh water we had collected earlier.
“Can we go swimming?” asked Cam.
“Yeah, can we?” begged Carter, turning puppy dog eyes up at his father. David shrugged.
“I don’t see why not. Your suits are in your packs,” he said.
Lots of whoops and hollering as they jumped up and raced to the tent. I helped Sam clean up the campsite while David more or less dismantled the fire so it could die out.
“Ready to get wet?” whispered Sam as he nuzzled my neck.
“I guess. There aren’t snakes in that lake, are there?”
“Probably not.”
“Probably…”
“Relax, Jack,” he said, grabbing my shoulders and looking deep into my eyes. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you, I promise. Besides, the boys make so much noise no animal in its right mind will come near us.”
“And the crazy ones?”
“Those only come out at night.” He had the nerve to wiggle his eyebrows like he was only joking. I had my doubts.
With a deep sigh I trudged over to our tent and bent to open the door. Sam bumped his crotch against my ass with a low growl.
“You’re killing me, Schaeffer,” he whispered.
I smiled. One way to keep his attention on me.
We changed quickly and joined the boys and David, who was now wearing a dark green pair of boardshorts, laughing at his boys as they took turns dunking each other under.
Sam wasted no time launching himself into the lake, and the twins swam over to attack. David waded in more slowly, pausing waist-deep to acclimate to the water temperature.
“You coming in?” he asked, turning to look at me. I nodded, but made no move to join him. He turned back and swam over to where Cam and Carter were climbing all over Sam.
The water was generally clean, but all the activity had stirred up silt and whatnot, leaving murky shadows under the surface. The last time I was in that lake a moose was chasing me. I struggled to find a good reason to go back in now.
“Jack! Save me,” yelled Sam, dropping under the surface. Cam and Carter laughed and I rolled my eyes.
“Nice try,” I yelled back. He grinned and went back under — and stayed under. Half a minute went by and I started to panic, stepping closer until my feet were at the water’s edge. Suddenly he came back up, flinging his arms every which way and went under again. I couldn’t tell if he was pretending or in real trouble.
I threw myself into the lake and came up with a mouth full of water for my troubles. Spitting it out, I swam closer to where Sam had last disappeared. He popped up next to me, all smiles, and opened his arms to pull me in with a teasing grin. He was never in danger, the big jerk.
I realized I could stand on the soft bottom and still keep my neck above water. Unfortunately I couldn’t raise my hand to slap him for scaring me because he had a vice grip on my arms.
“That was not cool. How am I supposed to know if you’re really in trouble?” The edge to my voice startled Carter, who moved closer to his father’s side.
“I’m sorry,” said Sam, softly stroking my cheek. “You’re right. It was a dick move. Forgive me?”
I sighed. I couldn’t stay mad at him. He just wanted to help me get over my fears. And I was determined not to spoil his, or the boys’, good time.
“Fine, I forgive you. I’ll think of something for you to do to pay me back.”
Cam, who had swum over to us, grinned.
“Like what, Uncle Jack?”
I grinned. “Not sure yet, but I’ll think of something.”
“Oh, man,” groaned Sam, pretending to be scared at what I might come up with, which only made Cam laugh.
I turned and motioned to Carter, who let go of his father’s arm and swam over to me, clinging to my side, since he couldn’t stand. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” I said.
He grinned. “S’okay. Can we play chicken?”
The games commenced. Thankfully I was allowed to sit out the first round, but the boys decided to add a new element to the game. Instead of winning points by knocking each other down, I had to count to one hundred while first one, then the other tried to prevent his opponent from getting close enough to me to hit the top of my head.
Carter won when he launched himself off his father’s shoulders and landed on my head, pushing us both under. I came up laughing, spitting water and rubbing my eyes. Sam threw Cam into the air, screaming for joy, and swam over to me, pulling me close. He pushed wet hair out of my eyes and kissed my cheek.
“You’re awesome, little man.”
“Thanks, big guy. But I think I need a break.”
He and I trudged up to the shore, where we stretched out on semi-dry land under the bright, shiny day. Sam shook his head, wet hair throwing drops of water everywhere. I smiled, happy to see him enjoying his true element.
I leaned back on my elbows and looked around. It really was peaceful, and nothing was truly threatening. I had never enjoyed nature, and I found myself wondering why that was, exactly. Up here, with the sun shining, the birds singing, the kids laughing in the lake, it was like a relaxing oasis, a respite from the chaos of the world down below.
When I was little, like maybe six or seven, our father had taken my brother and me into the woods for a morning hike. My brother loved being outside in the wild. He would run through the trees and walk barefoot through the creek in mud up to his knees. I stuck closer to dry land.
I winced when I remembered all the whining I did. No wonder my father wasn’t too thrilled with me. I spoiled his good time. I never understood why he called me a selfish brat when we finally got back to my grandparents later that afternoon. At the time I just thought he was a mean old man who made me do things he knew I didn’t like. Now I wasn’t so sure.
“What are you thinking about over there?” asked Sam, lying back with his eyes closed.
“Nothing,” I replied, sitting up.
“Jack.”
I sighed. “Really, it’s no big deal.” I pulled at grass and weeds, hoping he would just let it go.
He sat up and looked at me, his beautiful blue eyes invading mine. He reached for my hand and I gave it to him.
“The last time we were up here together, you were pissed at me for running off alone with my thoughts. We promised each other we would talk about whatever, whenever. So talk to me, little man. I’m here for you.”
I looked back out to the lake, where David was talking to his boys as they clung to his sides in the water. They were both smiling, as was he. They were happy together.
Maybe I could have had that, too?
A knot formed in my throat. Did I drive my father away because I was so different?
“Jack?” whispered Sam. “What’s going on?”
I swallowed and nodded toward the beautiful scene in the water. “I never had that. And I think it was all my fault.”
Sam’s arm was around my shoulder in a flash. He pulled me tightly to his side and gently kissed my none-too-clean cheek.
“No way.”
I shrugged against him. “I wasn’t very nice to him.”
“To who?”
“My father. He loved the woods and being outside. I hated it, and I just realized I made sure he knew it. I was very…selfish.”
“You were a little kid. Cut yourself some slack.”
For some reason that annoyed me. I pulled away and frowned at him. “You don’t understand. I was ugly, Sam. I made him miserable, when all he wanted was to have a good time, like David is having with his boys out there. I couldn’t give him that. I had to make it all about me.”
Sam took a deep breath and studied my face for a moment. “Maybe that’s true, but you were too young to know better. Besides, you aren’t the same now.”
“Aren’t I? I make all kinds of comments about not wanting to be in these woods. We’ve lived here for months and it took Cam and Carter coming out for me to agree to do this with you. I’m so sorry, Sam.”
“For what?”
“For ignoring what you love. For making it all about me, and my comfort. You’re so good to me, and I love you for it. But it’s not right.”
“Jack, I know you love me.”
I looked away. “Not like I should,” I whispered.
He fell silent and left me to my thoughts for a minute or two. I dared a sideways glance at him and he was looking at David and the twins splashing around again. He smiled when David threw them both at the same time and they clapped hands mid-air, before plunging under the surface.
“Do you hate it out here?” Sam whispered, staring now across the lake, his eyes slightly sad looking.
I touched his shoulder. “No, I really don’t. I’m…I like seeing you this way, doing what you love to do. I just wish I loved it, too. I’m trying, Sam. I promise I am.”
He turned to me, azure blue eyes sparkling. “We like so many of the same things, sometimes I forget we’re still very different.”
I inhaled sharply, suddenly very afraid of what this could mean for us. Would our differences drive us apart?
He scooted closer to my side and pulled me into a hug. “Easy, little man. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. We said forever, and forever it’s gonna be.”
I buried my head into his neck. “I don’t want to be different. I want to be whatever you need me to be. I just want you, Sam.”
He leaned back and lifted my chin. “You have me. And I’m glad we’re different. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a very good thing.”
Now I was totally confused. “How? I’ve been a jerk to you. I moved you to this beautiful, amazing mountain that you love and then I don’t support you actually enjoying it for what it is, what you love the most about it.”
He smiled. “That’s the whole point. You gave me a whole freaking mountain, Jack! Who does that? And I do get to enjoy it. I’ve been up here a number of times, and each time I see more and do more. I love it. It’s so…peaceful. When I’m up here everything just makes sense in my head. And you gave me that.”
“I don’t understand,” I replied, sitting up a little straighter.
He squeezed my hand and grinned. “I committed to being with you back in Hawaii, before you and I ever laid eyes on this place, right?”
I nodded.
“Okay. So we get here, and I’m blown away by it all. And then everything hit the fan and we were running balls to the wall to try and stay ahead of it all, so yeah, we didn’t get to fully absorb it. But Jack, don’t you see? I’m perfectly happy up here all by myself. If you aren’t comfortable doing this with me, that’s okay. We get to be different. We get to be who we are, without having to be something we’re not, just to keep the other person happy. That never works. Believe me, I know.”
My heart thumped loudly in my ears. “You mean with…”
“Yeah, Jeremy. I changed everything to try and make him happy, and I failed. And just like you’re doing right now, I blamed myself for his dumping me. Maybe if I had tried harder, been just a little more of what he wanted, or maybe needed a little less of what he didn’t want to give me. I don’t know, maybe then he would have loved me.”
His voice cracked and I threw myself on him, pushing him onto his back. I kissed him and stared down into his face.
“It was NOT your fault. He didn’t love you. He didn’t even try. He never gave you a chance,” I whispered.
Sam lifted us both off the ground, never breaking our hold on each other. He pushed my messy hair out of my eyes and kissed my lips like a soft whisper. “But you did. You gave me a chance to love and be loved, again. And you love me well, little man. Please don’t doubt that.”
I kissed him hard, squeezing myself against his hairy chest. The warmth of his heart and his words softened something inside me. I didn’t deserve this man. But he seemed intent on sticking with me, and I was never letting go.
“Are we interrupting anything?” asked a dripping David, slowly dragging himself out of the water. The twins were still splashing each other behind him.
I slid off Sam’s lap and looked up with a hand across my brow to shield my eyes from the sun. “No. We were just talking.”
“Just talking? And you needed to be in his lap to do that?” said David with a huge grin.
I blushed and Sam chuckled next to me, then kissed my cheek. “He just really likes me,” he said.
I pushed his shoulder away. “Not even a little bit, you jerk.”
He laughed and I smiled, bumping shoulders again, relieved the earlier tension had dissipated. We were out here to have fun, dammit.
“What’s next, Mr. Ranger, sir?” I asked.
Sam shrugged. “No plans.”
“The boys said they wanted to explore around the lake, if that’s okay?” said David.
Sam pushed to his feet, then pulled me up beside him. “That sounds like a plan to me. Let’s change and we can walk around the lake. Should take about an hour, then we can do dinner.”
David nodded. “Boys,” he said, turning back to the lake. “Get out of those wet suits and into shirts, shorts and boots. We’re hiking around the lake.”
Lots of whooping and hollering and laughter as they hopped out of the lake and raced to their tent. Carter crawled in and came back out with their packs. Modesty tossed aside for expediency, they ignored the adults and stripped off their suits and pulled on their hiking gear. The wet suits were tossed over a low tree branch next to the tent.
“I’ll be just a minute,” said David, moving in their direction.
Sam grabbed my hand and pulled me to our tent. I watched him crawl in, and for half a second wondered if he was going to have us change outside, as well.
“Get in here,” he grunted.
I stooped to go through the door and stopped. He was laying back on the air mattress, shorts half undone, hard dick in his hand, waving it back and forth. I grinned and made quick work of joining him.
He pulled me into a deep kiss, but when I reached for his cock he slapped my hand away.
“No time. Later.”
I groaned as he pulled away and threw my shorts and t-shirt at me. I shrugged them on, pushing my own stiff dick down to get the zipper up. Outside we slipped our hiking boots on, just as David emerged from the green tent. The boys were poking the smoldering fire with a stick.
“Ready to go exploring?” asked Sam, reaching for my hand.
I looked deep into his eyes. “I’ll go anywhere and do anything with you.”
His breath hitched and his eyes slanted. His nostrils flared and he gave me a low growl. Yikes. The woods really brought out the beast. Yay for me.
“Let’s go, let’s go,” shouted Cam and Carter.
Sam held my hand as we walked side by side. The boys took off, scrunching through the underbrush.
“Keep the lake in sight to your right,” said David, following at a slower pace. From behind, I watched David.
He was a good father. Vigilant, but relaxed enough to let his boys be boys. Bumps and bruises, scrapes and scuffles were all part of growing up. Like Sam, he seemed comfortable in nature, which I found strange, given his chosen career in high stakes business ventures. It was a weird dichotomy I couldn’t quite get my head around.
“Your wheels are spinning over there,” said Sam, pushing a low-hanging branch out of our way.
I sighed. “Sorry. Just thinking about stuff, nothing important.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Just how odd it is that the same person can love two seemingly different things.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…I always figured people who like business and working in an office wouldn’t really like camping and nature stuff. The two worlds are so…opposite. Yet David seems at home in both. You, too, though I think you probably prefer being out here than back at the office.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you feel totally out of your element?”
It was a great question. “I’m not…as uncomfortable as I thought I would be. I mean, I don’t see myself working in the woods any time soon, but this is nice. It’s really pretty out here. And I love walking hand in hand with you.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder for a moment. Sam was quiet, but I could sense his mind was working on something as well. I stayed quiet and let him think.
“Uncle Sam!” shouted Cam. “Come quick.”
Sam looked at me. I nodded and he took off. I followed as quickly as I could. David was by the twins’ side seconds before Sam joined them. They were all standing in a tall patch of grass, looking down at something.
Approaching slowly, I paused. “What is it?”
“Come see, Uncle Jack,” said Camden, coming over and dragging me closer.
It was a baby deer, the size of a small lap dog, curled up in the tall grass. Its eyes were open, but it didn’t move, save for the occasional flick of an ear.
“Don’t touch it,” said Sam as Cam reached to pet it. “We don’t want the mama deer to smell us on her baby. Let’s step back a bit.” We all followed his instruction.
“Why is it just laying there? Is it hurt?” I asked.
“Not at all. Mama deer leave their fawns in tall grass like this during the day to keep them safe.”
“Safe?” asked Camden.
“Yeah. They don’t want any predators who may be watching to know about the baby. so they hide it during the day and come back at night to feed and watch over it.”
“Cool,” said Carter.
“Come on guys, let’s leave it alone,” said David. “Plenty more to explore.”
Reluctantly the twins stepped back and soon enough their attention was on a cluster of rocks at the water’s edge. Boundless curiosity consumed them, and I was weirdly jealous for reasons I couldn’t identify.
Sam joined them, pointing at something in the water and laughing when one of the twins cracked a joke. David and I remained at a distance and just watched, enjoying the shade of a nearby tree. He sat down on a patch of dead pine needles and I joined him.
“Having fun?” asked David.
“I am…I think. You?”
“Oh, yeah. I love the outdoors. It’s the only way I can fully escape the rat race, you know?”
“You mean work? I thought you liked your work?”
“Love it. But the people, the machinations, the constant pressure, the overwhelming responsibilities,” he groaned. “It builds up, you know? And then I just need a change of scenery.”
“Going home at night doesn’t do that for you?”
He sighed. “Sort of. A little, I guess. But home has its responsibilities, too. Different kind of work, but it’s still work. Plus it’s hard for me to turn off my work brain, even at home. No, for me to really unwind, I need something totally different. Being outside works for me, even if it’s just to cut the grass. Clears the mechanism.”
I chewed my bottom lip and pondered his comment. It made sense. He liked two different things precisely because they were so different. Ugh. Why did my brain always complicate everything?
I tossed a couple of handfuls of pine needles at my ankles, then closed my eyes, determined to tap into whatever magical powers nature might have for me. It was no secret I needed something to calm the crazy. Maybe Sam and David and the boys were on to something.
Leaning back on my elbows, I lifted my head and just listened. The rustle of a gentle wind whispering its way through the leaves overhead. The constant buzz of unseen insects, the varied music of birdsong, and the nearby laughter and joy of young boys in discovery.
The smell of the earth, the feel of the pine needles, the warmth of the sun and the cool of the shade. The kaleidoscope of colors painting the vegetation. My mind cataloged each of these things as I absorbed them. A change of pace, a change of scenery. An escape from the everyday. A tiny glimmer of understanding slipped through, but I still didn’t have the words.
“Hey guys,” said Sam. “The boys want to go around to the beaver dam. You ready?”
“Beaver dam?” I asked, standing up and brushing pine needles away.
“Yeah. It’s at the far end of the lake. I saw them building it last time I was up here.”
“Cool,” said David as he walked toward his boys who waited impatiently for the adults to catch up.
“You missed a few,” said Sam, playfully swatting my ass to remove phantom pine needles. “Here, let me check for you.” He pushed a hand down the back of my shorts and squeezed my butt cheek.
“What are you doing?” I asked, eyes askance over my shoulder.
“Protecting what’s important to me,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and stepped toward the trail. He laughed and followed me.
We hiked a path of sorts around the northern edge of the lake. There were fewer trees on this side, but more thickets and low-lying shrubs to navigate. Cam found a thick stick and used it to beat back the bushes, pretending he was swinging a machete. Carter would stop on occasion and hold back a particularly bothersome branch of thorns so we could pass. Each time he beamed with pride when David ruffled his hair in passing.
They were twins, but I was learning more of their differences. Camden was the more fearless adventurer, Carter the more thoughtful and expressive leader. Both seemed wise beyond their years, but I had a feeling that was a family gene passed down through the Wainwright line. The same gene that apparently eradicated irrational fear.
I didn’t have that gene. I was learning to do things afraid. Amanda had started me on this journey of saying no to fear and soldiering on. Some days I was grateful for the advice, other days it annoyed the crap out of me.
Facing my fears was hard work. But the biggest reward was walking next to me, his hand hovering at the small of my back. With Sam at my side, I felt I could conquer my demons — eventually. Hey, I was squishing through mud alongside a lake with absolutely no idea how to get back home, and I wasn’t freaking out. I’d call that progress. I might not say it out loud, but I was actually beginning to enjoy myself.
Sam called a quiet halt to our lakeside march and took a lead position, crouching down in the tall grass. His eyes searched the hillside ahead, looking for movement. A few moments later, he pointed.
“There,” he whispered, waving the boys closer to his side. “See him?”
“Where?” whispered Cam.
Sam pointed again. “On the hill, just beyond that clump of willow trees. He’s on the ground, brown furry thing.”
“I see him,” said Carter. “Wow. He’s smaller than I thought he’d be.”
“Cool,” said Cam. “What’s he doing with that tree?”
“My guess he’s eating the bark, or he’s felling it.”
“Felling?” asked Carter.
“Cutting it down with his teeth,” said Sam. “Then he’ll drag it or push it to the water. Look over there.”
Sam pointed to the end of the lake, where a jagged pile of logs lay jumbled together. “That’s their dam. It’s what keeps this lake alive.”
“Wow!” said Carter.
“This is so cool,” said Cam.
It was freaking amazing! We hid in the brush and watched the beaver for nearly an hour as he gnawed his way through two trees, stripping the top branches into a pile and pushing the bigger trunks down the hill and into the lake. Once floating, he dove in and pushed them toward the dam, lifting them into place to his satisfaction.
He went back for the leaves and twigs, munching on his dinner with not a care in the world. His work for the day was done, apparently. After eating, he waddled back to the water and swam back to the dam. At its edge, he dove under and disappeared.
“Where’d he go?” asked Carter, standing up straighter for a better look.
“Inside the dam. That’s where he lives. Probably another beaver or two around here, as well.”
“Cool. Can we see it?” asked Cam.
“Uh…not a good idea, buddy. We don’t want to spook them. That dam keeps this lake from draining away every summer, and other animals depend on it for a water source. We don’t want them to run off. Besides, you can’t see the den, anyway. You’d have to swim underwater to get up inside.”
Cam and Carter both looked dejected at this news.
“Cheer up, guys,” said David. “You at least got to see beavers in the wild. You’ll have some good stories to tell your friends, right?”
“Come on, I’ll show you something else,” said Sam. “Follow me.”
Sam led us on a wide loop away from the end of the lake and beaver dam. The hillside sloped downward, and the ground became rocky and difficult to traverse. I heard it before I saw it — a gorgeous waterfall.
Maybe a hundred feet below the beaver dam, runoff from the lake cascaded down a gully filled with jagged rocks. We stood at the bottom of a twenty-five foot fall where the water splashed down onto a large flat rock and regrouped to continue its voyage down the mountain.
Cam had a strange look on his face. “Can I?” he asked his father.
“Be careful,” said David.
Cam ripped off his shoes, shirt and shorts, and in just his underwear, he waded slowly under the waterfall, laughing as the water splashed all around him. The force was too strong to stand fully under the fall, but he managed to get soaked anyway. Seeing his brother having that much fun, Carter was right behind him.
We watched them splash each other and then they were whispering. Suddenly they hugged each other and started inching sideways into the waterfall, laughing hysterically and screaming with delight. Somehow they managed to support each other and stay upright.
“That’s enough, boys,” said David casually. His face showed more concern than his voice revealed, but it was enough to get the twins moving.
Two very wet, very happy little boys rejoined us, shaking their heads and flinging water all over us. We laughed and tried to dodge the attack.
Sam looked up and studied the sky. Clouds were rolling in, partially obscuring the sun. Carter shivered and his lips turned blue. Cam was rubbing his arms, as well.
“Get dressed, guys. We’ve still got a hike back to camp.”
The twins moved to their piles of clothes.
“Better go commando,” said Cam and Carter nodded. They peeled off their wet underwear and donned their shorts and t-shirts. Their shoes looked like regular athletic shoes, but I could tell they were designed for more rugged terrain. They each wrung out their very wet underwear as best they could and reported for duty.
“After you, sir,” said Cam, saluting Sam again.
Sam grinned and took off. “Follow me, and watch yourselves as we cross these rocks. Jack, join me?”
I moved closer and he grabbed my hand, then led us across the many boulders and jagged outcroppings that outlined the gully.
“Is this why Ben said what’s-his-name couldn’t have come up to the house this way?”
“Yeah. No way Turner or anyone else could make this climb. It would be suicide. At the time, this gully was running strong from winter runoff. Now it’s a trickle in comparison, I’m guessing. One fall, and you’d die out here without help.”
“Yikes. Hold my hand tighter,” I said. He did.
We all made it safely across, and the journey on the bottom side of the lake was easier going. Vegetation was a lot thinner near the lake, and we made it back to camp just as the sky began to dim.
The boys created a new fire with fresh wood they gathered. David and Sam prepared hamburgers and I was tasked with opening two packages of beans and adding water from a canteen to a small metal pot Sam produced from who knows where.
The fire was blazing hot — too hot to hold the pot — so we waited until it died down a bit. David pushed the logs around into a flatter shape, and while he fried up the hamburgers, I stirred the beans — with a stick Sam handed me.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“It’ll add flavor,” he said with a cheeky grin.
“What are we, a bunch of beavers?”
The twins rolled off the logs they were sitting on, laughing hysterically. I smiled. I was happy in the woods. Who would have believed it?
That all changed after we settled into our tent for the night. Everyone was pretty exhausted from the day’s excursions, so when night fell, we roasted a few marshmallows and called it.
David and the boys retreated to their tent, while Sam and I organized the campsite, making sure there were no food stuffs to tempt unwanted forest visitors. I was very thorough in those efforts.
I had just managed to wriggle out of my clothes and into the sleeping bag as Sam poked his head in, pushing our boots inside as well.
“Might rain,” he said, zipping the entrance closed. He left the window flap open for what little breeze moved through.
“David and the boys settled?” I asked.
“Yeah. Lots of laughing over there. Sounds wonderful. I’m so glad we could do this for them. He hardly ever gets away anymore.”
“He needed this. He told me.”
“He’s a great dad, isn’t he?”
I nodded, watching Sam undress. Okay, I might have drooled a little.
“You see something you want, little man?”
I sighed and nodded.
“Good thing we got the two man sleeping bag, yeah?”
“Best decision ever,” I whispered, pulling him close as he lay next to me.
He kissed me. Tender at first, then with more heat and raw, animal need. When he growled, my rock hard dick started leaking. We were dirty, probably smelled a little like lake water and earthworms, but I wanted him. None of that mattered, just the feel of his hard body rutting up against mine.
That’s when the rain started. The first few drops were nothing. I hardly noticed. Then the storm dumped half an ocean on us. The noise on the plastic tent roof was deafening.
“Are we safe in here?” I shouted over the din.
“Yes. We are on fairly high ground, so even if the storm goes on for a while, we should be fine. I’m gonna radio the house just so they don’t worry.”
“Good idea.”
Sam scrounged around the tent and found the radio. When he put it inside, I don’t know. He turned it on and pressed the button to raise the main base. Charles’ staticky voice barely came through over the noise of the rain.
“Home base,” he said.
“Hey, it’s Sam. Just wanted you all to know we’re fine. Battened down for the night. No worries.”
“Roger. I’ll let the folks know. Have a good night. You need anything in the morning, holler.”
“Thanks, Charles. Hey, did my dad make it back okay?”
“Sure did. And from the stories he was telling over dinner, he had a mighty fine time with Clyde and the boys. A little sunburn, but I’m guessing he hardly noticed.”
“Cool. Okay, good night. Oh, Charles?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for everything.”
“No problem. Stay dry. Over and out.”
The static stopped and Sam turned off the radio to save the battery.
“Now where were we?” asked Sam, slinking closer and nuzzling my neck.
“Thinking about how long it has to rain this hard before we’re in danger of drowning.”
“Not a very sexy thought. Stop worrying,” he mumbled against my neck, licking and prodding and teasing.
“Who me? Worried? I’m not…oh, right there…”
The morning after was a bit of a challenge. All the wood was wet — soaked actually. Someone had left the matches out of their plastic bag, so we were down to two that looked dry enough they might work.
Sam sent the boys out to find dry wood. It took awhile, but they enthusiastically accepted the challenge and returned with a handful of reasonably dry logs. David ripped pages from a paperback book he had in his pack and with Sam carefully shielding the flame from excess wind, David managed to light the fire. We were saved!
Okay, maybe we had a less-than-an-hour walk back to the house, but I wasn’t ready to go back, just when I was finding reasons to like the woods. Sam had been very good at helping me find those reasons, even in a rainstorm.
Breakfast was scrambled eggs cooked in a not-so-clean skillet. Bits of hamburger added a unique flavor. We ate cold biscuits and passed on the potatoes. No one wanted to bother with them.
The sun peeked out shortly after we had more or less tidied up the campsite. I moved a few yards down to wash the dishes in the lake, trying very hard not to stir up mud and silt. It was a passable job. My standards were sinking rapidly in the woods.
When I returned, Sam and David were tying lures on fishing lines. The twins were full of excess energy — where they found it, I’ll never know — and bouncing on their toes. I was less enthusiastic about fishing.
I had no moral objections to the process. I just didn’t understand the appeal. I mean, you stand there and wait for something to happen. And wait some more. You reel in the line, cast it out, and wait some more. Maybe once — if you’re lucky — in a whole day of this, you catch a fish. And then what? Throw it back? Or, God forbid, you have to clean it? Eww.
Sam looked over at me, where I sat on a wet stump near the waning fire and contemplated the day ahead. My expression must not have been sunny and bright. He frowned and looked down at what he was doing. Something in that frown broke my heart. I flashed back to disappointing my father as a child, and vowed to fix my attitude immediately.
“Show me what you’re doing,” I said, standing up and moving closer to him.
His smile brightened as he made room for me at his side.
“We’re thinking this lake might have trout, so we’re using these lures.”
“They look like little minnows.”
“Exactly. Trout love flies and little minnow-sized fish. Since we’re not on a boat and fishing deeper water, we’ll try these along the shore. Hopefully we’ll get a few bites.”
As the clouds parted, I watched Sam tie a lure on one of the boy’s rods while David did the other. Then Sam did the same to my rod, and handed it to me. The lure hung suspended in midair, shining in the sun. Ready or not, I was going fishing.
David took the lead, and we followed him along the southern part of the lake where we could get closer to shore. He positioned Carter and Cam about thirty yards apart, and he took a position in between them. Sam led me further along to a clearing with no trees overhead.
“Okay, Jack. Let’s see what you’ve got. You remember how to do this?”
“Show me again,” I said. I did remember, but I was pretty sure he liked playing teacher, and I definitely liked when he pressed up against me and grabbed my wrists.
“Like this. Finger on the line, drop this, pull back, and flick your wrist as you let go with your finger. Ready?”
“Yeah.”
He let go but stayed up close behind me. I pulled back, flicked my wrist and the lure went flying — right out into the water.
“I did it!” I shouted. I sounded like a little kid, but I didn’t care. I did it. I made a successful cast. I was fishing.
“That was awesome. Okay, now…reel it in slowly. That’s it. Slow and steady. Can you feel the lure dragging in the water?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s what you want. If you reel too fast, it will skip across the water and the fish will ignore it. You want it gliding just below the…”
“Oh, crap, what was that?” I yelled as my pole bent down. Something was pulling hard. “Sam, help.”
He grabbed the pole around my hands and together we held on until I could get a feel for the balance.
“Keep reeling it in, Jack. I think you’ve got one.”
“I do?”
“Think so. Keep reeling. Don’t stop. It’s either a fish or a log or something.”
I kept reeling, holding on for dear life. Suddenly there was a ton of splashing and flopping in the water about ten yards out.
“Uncle Jack’s got a fish!” shouted Cam. Everyone came running. With an audience now, I slowly wound the reel in. The pull was not as strong against the rod now, and Sam let go, walking closer to the water’s edge and holding on to the line from my pole.
“That’s it, Jack. You’ve got him. Keep reeling. Almost home. Wow! He’s a beauty.”
Hearing Sam’s praise and his overwhelming joy did something to my insides. I was suddenly fighting tears as hard as I was fighting the fish. Wow! I would never forget this moment as long as I lived. And I owed it all to the sexy man standing at the water’s edge.
The fish landed on the muddy shore and flopped around for half a minute, then settled.
“Cool, Uncle Jack. You got a rainbow. And he’s big!” said Cam, standing next to Sam and he reached to pick it up by the mouth. He carefully removed the hook from the side of the fish’s mouth and held it up.
“Gentlemen, Jack Schaeffer’s very first cast, and his very first catch. Ain’t it a beautiful thing?”
Carter and Cam studied the fish for a moment, then Sam brought it over to me, while David was doing something with his phone.
“You’re amazing, little man,” said Sam, kissing me gently.
“Thank you,” I said softly.
“Hold it up, Jack. Gotta take a picture,” said David.
“I have to touch it?”
Sam laughed. “Here, I’ll help you.” He showed me how to hold it by the mouth, and David took the picture.
“Now what?” I asked, handing it back to Sam.
“Well, he’s a keeper. So if you want him, we can clean him and have it for dinner.”
“Could we give him back?”
“You mean throw him back?” asked Cam.
“Yeah.”
“Sure,” said Carter. “Then we can catch him again.”
“You sure?” asked Sam.
I nodded. It was the least I could do for the fish that made me into a hero for a minute.
I walked to the water’s edge with Sam and held my breath as he held the fish still under water. Nothing happened for a few seconds, then the fish squirmed and Sam let it go. It took off like a rocket and disappeared. I exhaled in relief.
“Okay, that was fun. I want to do it again,” I said, and everyone burst out laughing.
We fished for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. By the time Sam called a halt, David had caught the most with four. Sam and I each had two, and the twins each caught one. David kept his to clean for dinner.
They were some of the best hours of my life, and I couldn’t fathom why exactly. Perhaps it was because Sam was happiest cheering me on whenever I got a bite — even when the fish jumped the hook, which happened numerous times. I never quite got the hang of setting the hook, but it was still great fun.
The twins told jokes and had us in stitches the whole time. I was exhausted, from laughing more than anything else. We dragged ourselves back to camp and collapsed on the thankfully now dry ground. I didn’t care if it was mostly trodden dirt. I was a fisherman now.
I helped Sam clean up the fishing rods and rigs and stow the lures while David cleaned his fish. I passed on that lesson. I was hoping I could even eat it. If not, there were always marshmallows later.
Cam and I walked back to the stream to get fresh water in all the canteens. I didn’t fall in this time, and we didn’t get lost. That was mostly Cam’s success, not mine. I would have made two wrong turns, at least.
Carter had a roaring fire going when we returned, and once it died down to cooking embers, we fried up the potatoes and onions, and David cooked the trout. It smelled good once he added salt and pepper from a bunch of those little paper packets you get in fast food joints.
I sat on my stump and relished every minute with the guys. My family. My people. My life. I fought back tears as I realized how accepted I was, and how much I finally felt like I fit in. I belonged with these guys, and not just because I caught a fish.
Sam smiled at me all through dinner. He was proud of me. And I was humbled by how much he had helped me past my fears of the unknown and uncomfortable. He was so, so good for me.
Fish fresh from the lake was good. Not as easy as store bought, but there was no comparison in taste. A little oil, a little salt and pepper. Nothing to it.
After cleanup, we all decided another swim in the lake was in order. We stank. Sam whispered in my ear that we should go skinny dipping next time we come up alone. I smiled and kissed him. I might be up for that.
We splashed around until the stars came out. No clouds, and the galaxies were brilliant against the night sky. Amazing, beautiful, awe-inspiring.
We roasted the rest of the marshmallows and Carter and Cam told ghost stories that were more hilarious than scary. When we couldn’t stop yawning, David announced it was time for bed.
As the fire died down, Sam and I straightened everything and packed up what we could see in the dimming light. Every time he passed me, he touched me. It was sweet. And exciting.
In the quiet of our tent, we made love. Sam was extremely tender and gentle, and when he climbed on top of me and guided me inside him, I nearly cried with gratitude — for everything.
The next morning was organized chaos. Sam radioed the house and Ben informed him the plan was for a late morning brunch and we should get our filthy, smelly asses home, and don’t be late.
Together we broke camp, as the boys instructed. I helped them carry the fire pit rocks back to the edge of the lake. We all made sure there was no trash left behind. Tents came down and were rolled up. Backpacks were packed.
“Who had fun?” asked Sam, jerking on his pack.
“I did!” shouted Cam and Carter, scattering a flock of birds into the sunny blue sky.
“Who caught fish?”
“I did!” I added my voice to the mix.
“Who wants to do this again?”
“I do!” we all shouted. And I meant it, too.
The trek down the mountain took a little under an hour. Several places were slippery still from the earlier rainstorm. We dragged ourselves into the driveway a little after nine, tired, smelly, and more relaxed than I had been in a very, very long time.
Thankfully we had enough showers we could all get cleaned up at the same time. David helped the boys get started downstairs while Sam half carried me to our room. I was naked and under the shower spray in record time. Those handles on the walls worked like a charm. Sam wasn’t anywhere near as gentle as the night before, and I loved it.
Brunch was a lively affair. Piles and piles of yummy food filled the kitchen island and we served ourselves buffet style. Charles had barbequed chicken and ribs, and there were five different salads, plus eggs and sausage. Kat had made the pancakes under Maggie’s direction, and they were delicious.
Fish stories abounded. I let Sam tell about my first time catching one. He tells it better. I come off like a superhero, and it made him so happy. David had the picture to prove it.
“How was the golf?” I asked Curtis as we refilled our plates at the island.
“Amazing. That Clyde is an excellent golfer. He should be on the seniors tour. I shot my second best ever round, an eighty-four. Those clubs…Jack…how can I ever thank you for that?”
I smiled. “By playing with them, enjoying them, wearing them out — if you can do that to golf clubs. That would be the best thanks ever.”
He grinned. “I’ll do my best. Can’t wait to get back and brag to the guys.”
I laughed as we returned to the table.
“What did you do yesterday, Sis?” asked Sam, reaching for a sausage off of Cam’s plate.
“Laid around the pool and read a book. It was perfect,” said Kat.
“Hey! That was my sausage,” Cam protested. Sam was already chewing it whole and pretended not to hear him. So Cam yanked a pancake from Sam’s plate, and when Sam reached to pull it back, Cam tossed it on Carter’s plate, pushing a piece of chicken on to the floor.
“Look what you did?” Carter shouted.
“Jack, how many times do I have to tell you, leave people’s food alone,” said Maggie, her back to us at the sink. Sam and the twins cracked up, and Ben rolled his eyes at me.
“I’m innocent, I tell ya. I’m innocent,” I protested with a grin.
“Take some advice, pilgrim,” said Cam in his best John Wayne voice.
“Yeah, stop taking my food,” said Sam in a terrible imitation as he reached across and took a pancake off my plate. Kat almost spewed her juice in my hair and David shook, holding back laughter. Caroline and Curtis just smiled.
Family. The most wonderful thing in the world.